


don't you forget about me (looks like you already have)

by settledthesun



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Danny Lawrence & Brody Kirsch, Danny-centric, F/F, Minor Laura Hollis/Danny Lawrence, danny and kirsch eventually manage to become bros, takes place between 1x36 and 2x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 01:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4082209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/settledthesun/pseuds/settledthesun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Danny doesn’t know that they’ve left until it’s too late.'</p><p>or</p><p>Amidst demons, Silas Society based civil wars and possibly the end of the world, Danny stays behind to fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't you forget about me (looks like you already have)

**Author's Note:**

> i can't have been the only one who felt uncomfortable with how nonchalant Laura and co seemed about leaving everyone behind to potentially die, right? seeing Danny in the preview for episode three gave me a tonne of Danny-feels that hit me like like a brick, so i had to have a go at writing out my own headcanon of what Danny's been dealing with 1x36 - 2x03. i tried to keep it as canon compliant as possible, but there are probably a few things that don't quite fit in.
> 
> as always, this is v messy, but i couldn't get it out of my head. there's also some not too graphic gore.

Danny doesn’t know that they’ve left until it’s too late.

She’s just pulled off a rather impressive running slide to duck behind a fallen pillar, panting and peering around the side to see the pit firing- are those fireballs?! She hastily retreats back behind the pillar, back resting against the stone in exhaustion. To her left, Julie is doing the same, gripping tightly onto what looks like a branch snapped off from one of the trees in the quad.

‘We have to evacuate students from the nearest dorms; we can’t let this fire spread,’ she says, preparing her aching body to make a run for the dorm two buildings over.

‘Claire and Elsie have already left for the West dorms,’ Julie replies, straining to be heard over the explosive booming coming from the pit behind them.

A flash of panic runs through Danny’s body as she realises that the East dorms have been left unprotected.

‘I have to go, there’s no one there to warn them. The students. I have to go-.’

‘Danny,’ Julie attempts to interrupt, but Danny’s up, preparing to fling herself out of cover as soon as the next fireball passes.

‘Make sure the others-.’

‘Danny,’ Julie grabs her arm this time, pulling her back and making sure their eyes meet.

‘She’s gone.’

Danny says nothing, her breathing still ragged. Julie sighs.

‘Elsie said she saw them head out through the gates and into the forest. Four of them. They didn’t look like they were coming back.’

Four of them. Laura, LaF, Perry. Carmilla.

The girl who had spent all semester trying to protect the students of Silas. The girl who had been instrumental in defeating the Dean, and in the process caused all of- this. The girl who never gave up.

She was gone.

Danny had spent so long telling the younger girl to put her own safety first, and now she had done just that.

Her chest tightens and her head is bombarded with memories; cherished, repressed and everything in between. She sees Laura laughing over a slice of pie. Laura in her shirt, too big in the sleeves. Laura kissing her that one and only time, in the dim lamp-light of her dorm room. She sees Laura telling her she didn’t need a dad. She sees her own dad leaving when she was ten, slamming the door and making the walls of her childhood home shake. She sees it all.

‘I’m sorry,’ Julie says softly, when Danny still hasn’t responded.

She remembers Laura’s touch, and it hurts.

But she’s not Danny, the charming but ultimately unlucky love interest of Laura’s videos.

She is Danny Lawrence, Summer Society sister and leader. This is who she was before Laura, and who she will continue to be.

She tenses and drops to a sprinting position.

‘Don’t be, there are still at least a hundred students in the East dorms and we need to get them out, let’s go.’

She takes a deep breath.

She has a job to do.

She runs.

 

 

 

A few days pass and things are- well, she wouldn’t exactly say better.

(‘At least the huge-ass fireballs have stopped.’

‘That’s so comforting to know, thank you Elsie.’)

Silas has been quiet for the last twenty-four hours.

They start to shift the debris, piece by piece, and wait.

 

 

 

They didn’t have to wait long.

The earthquakes returned in a Dean-like fashion; out of nowhere and deadly.

Now, however, when the tell-tale shaking and grumblings of an earthquake begin, a five-metre wide crack appears in the earth, unpredictable in location, and swallows up anything in its vicinity before closing back up, satisfied for an hour or so, before doing the same elsewhere on campus.

So far, nothing more serious than a few statues and trees had fallen victim to ‘The Crack-en’, as the Zetas have taken to calling it, but everyone is remaining on high alert, ready to jump to safety at a moment’s notice.

In between quakes, Danny finds the time to call her mom.

(‘I’m really sorry, but you know how it is now I’m a TA. There’s so much marking and if I fall behind I’m screwed.’

‘It’s okay, honey. We’ll miss you, but I know you’re just doing what you have to. I have to go pick the twins up from tennis practice now and find out what trouble they got into this time. Call us on Christmas day, okay? Love you.’

‘Love you too, mom.’)

She cries for the first time in a long, long time.

 

 

 

Last year, Christmas day was spent helping her mom cook.

She had alternated between peeling carrots and giving Dylan and Sophie piggybacks around the living room. It was their eighth Christmas and they got just as excited as they did every year. They had sat down to eat and Danny had watched as her mother lovingly chastised her siblings, pink cracker hat resting crookedly on her head and the soft sound of Billie Holiday playing in the background.

It had been her favourite Christmas to date.

This year, she decapitates a snarling demon and spends half an hour getting a nasty slash in her side stitched up by Julie.

(Elsie shows her a picture of the others from Laura’s Twitter. They’re wearing Christmas sweaters and smiling into the camera.)

Danny picks her sword back up and heads out into the fray.

 

 

 

After finishing off the last of the demons, Danny had thought perhaps this meant she might get at least a day’s rest.

What she hadn’t expected, was to find herself exhausted and covered in dirt, wrestling Kirsch on the school field, spitting insults at one another viciously.

Inevitably, the tensions between the societies trying to save the campus had come to a head, most predictably between the Summer Society and the Zetas.

They had been arguing about the best next step to take in protecting, and hopefully rebuilding, the campus when Kirsch had stepped forward and said, ‘obviously, we will take on most of the responsibility. It’s like, part of the bro code.’

The members of the Alchemy Club, who had rather optimistically tagged along as if they had any chance of coming out victorious, had simply rolled their eyes and disbanded when Danny stepped forward, fury in her eyes.

‘Oh, is that so,’ she had hissed at Kirsch.

‘Duh.’

‘Don’t you ‘duh’ me, there is no way you Neanderthals are taking the lead in this. The Summer Society is here to protect the campus, that is literally the reason we exist. The Zetas are here to chug beers and lower the average IQ score of the school.’

‘Woah, that’s way harsh, I’ll have you know I passed everything this year with flying colours.’

‘I read your Lit essay, you spelled ‘Beowulf’ wrong five different ways in the space of two paragraphs. In an essay about fucking Beowulf.’

‘It’s a hard word!’

At this point, even the remaining sisters and Zetas had exchanged weary looks and come to a non-verbal decision to leave the two infamous rivals to it, glancing back cautiously as they returned to their respective houses.

‘If you bunch of idiots are going to be doing anything, it’s going to be following our orders so that we can keep Silas safe, not run it further into the ground,’ Danny had insisted, crossing her arms and glaring.

‘Or, you know, maybe the other way round. Sure, you guys look cool and all with your little bows and arrows, but it’s not like they’re actually doing anything to help.’

‘How dare you. Archery is a Summer Society tradition, dating back to before you ever even stumbled over your first word. What was it? ‘Mama?’ ‘Dada?’ ‘Party?’ ‘Boobs?’’

‘Hilarious. Maybe ‘boobs’ was both of ours’ first word. Speaking of, how come you didn’t just leave with little nerd hottie? Seems like she had the right idea.’

At this, Danny had lurched forward and shoved Kirsch squarely in his chest. ‘You shut your mouth.’

‘Hey, watch it. I’m not gonna hit a chick. It’s not my fault she ran off with the vamp and left you behind.’

There was a moment’s silence when Danny’s entire body tensed and Kirsch’s eyes widened in realisation of what he said, before Danny was barrelling towards him and tackling him to the ground.

‘Get the hell off me, you weirdo!’ Kirsch yelped, shoving Danny at her shoulders and flipping her over, only for her to grab at his shirt, kick the back of his knee and do the same.

They struggled on in this fashion for a while, not throwing punches, but just scrambling and wrestling in the grass, fighting for dominance.

Now, Danny is digging her elbow into Kirsch’s rib as he pins her other wrist down until he hastily stammers, ‘okay, okay, I give!’ and Danny shoves him over, leaving the both of them on their backs, staring up at the evening dusk, panting as Kirsch rubs his side and Danny stretches her sore arms out.

Danny’s not sure how long they lie there for, but they watch the sky slowly darken and an owl hoots somewhere in the distance.

‘I’m sorry.’

She reluctantly turns her head to look at him. He stares back with a look of embarrassed sincerity.

‘What I said wasn’t cool.’ He picks at a loose thread on his shirt, and for the first time, Danny sees him as a young boy. He certainly has his flaws, but when it comes down to it, he’s just a boy who got swept up in something much bigger than himself, just like she did. He could have left, nothing was stopping him. But he stayed and fought.

‘Thanks,’ she says after a while. ‘I’m sorry for tackling you. It was dumb.’

‘Nah, not really. It’s clear you’ve been super stressed about this whole mess. It was inevitable you snapped eventually. And it’s better that it was at someone who deserved it.’

Danny doesn’t reply, just turns her head back to sky. The stars are out now.

‘They shouldn’t have left,’ he says.

‘They had every right to keep themselves safe,’ she replies. It sounds practiced.

‘Maybe. But it just doesn’t seem right to leave everyone else behind.’

‘Maybe,’ Danny agrees. ‘But this is the way things are, and it’s better we just accept that.’

She finally sits up, wincing at the way her back had been digging into a rock, before slowly coming to a stand and offering her hand to Kirsch.

‘Come on, let’s go sort ourselves out.’

He looks at her hand for a moment, dirty and a little bloody. He takes it and she helps pull him onto his feet, but once he’s up he doesn’t let go immediately. Instead, he twists his hand so he’s clasping it the other way round, and brings her unexpectedly into a form of one armed hug as he claps her on the shoulder with his free hand. She wants to snort and make a snarky comment about his predictable actions, but he looks so sincere that she decides to let him off, just this once.

‘Last one there’s zombie bait,’ he says, before whooping and racing off towards the campus.

‘You know, that’s less funny now considering the very real possibility of that happening,’ she says in exasperation, but he’s already out of earshot.

So she rolls her eyes and sighs before chasing after him, relishing in the evening breeze on her face, and allowing herself to feel twenty-one, young and free for the first time in months.

 

 

 

‘Lawrence, angry bird at 10 o’clock’.’

She glances around quickly before pulling the string of her bow back and firing an arrow into an approaching eagle-type hybrid. With teeth. Because _of course_ they have teeth.

‘Kirsch, that was 4 o’clock not 10, dammit.’

‘Well I don’t know, I have a digital watch.’

‘A digital w-, oh my god we’re all going to die.’

‘Thanks for the vote on confidence.’

‘And I told you not to call me that.’

‘Everyone calls me by last name, so it’s only fair. Plus it sounds more badass. Kirsch and Lawrence, kicking Fish Gods’ asses and taking names.’

‘If anything it would be Lawrence and Kirsch- wait, that’s not the point. Just do a better job of telling me when furious birds of death come careening towards my head, would you?’

‘Got it, dude.’

The ‘Fish God’ is the Angler Fish God that, instead of devouring the campus in one fell swoop, has instead got itself stuck in the pit, because that, Danny thinks, is exactly the kind of ridiculously messed up thing that happens at this godforsaken school.

So whilst the Angler Fish can’t destroy the school itself, or get out of the goddamn crater, its light beacon has been able to call on all number of supernatural creatures from the depths of Hell to try and do the job itself.

So far, thanks to the Summer Society and Zetas finally pulling together, they’ve been unsuccessful.

But they’ve been at this for almost two weeks now, and they’re getting tired.

 

 

 

Two days later, everything changes.

It’s astounding, really, that they’ve prevented any fatalities since the battle with the Dean.

There have been plenty of almosts, of broken bones and bloody wounds, but nobody’s died, not yet.

They patrol the campus regularly, even when it’s been quiet, to make sure this doesn’t change. Tonight, Danny and Kirsch, along with Mel and Theo, member of the Summer Society and head of the Zetas respectively, are making their way through the North quad, eyes sweeping and torches flashing, when Danny notices the door the a nearby building flung wide open.

‘Wait, Mel, shine your flashlight over there,’ Danny says, coming to a standstill.

Mel does as she’s asked, and directs the light over to the doorway. Danny’s stomach lurches when the flashlight reveasl a series of bloody marks painting the door, blood dripping from the handle.

‘Shit,’ Kirsch whispers. Theo grips his arm and looks to the others.

‘We’ve gotta go inside.’ He looks to the others to make sure they agree. ‘Okay, let’s go. Quietly.’

The four of them reach the door, and Mel peers inside.

‘This leads into the corridor, and there’s a door to the right at the end. I’m pretty sure it’s the Student Newspaper.’

Danny nods, taking the words in and looking to Theo, who nods once in return. They each tighten their grip on their weapons, Kirsch and Mel with baseball bats, Danny with her bow and Theo with a small but heavy axe. Together, they slowly creep down the corridor, coming to a stop by the door to the office, which is closed shut.

Danny takes two deep breaths before throwing it open.

It takes them about five seconds to adjust to the darkness.

‘Oh my God.’

Covering the floor of the room are dozens of bodies. Blood covers almost every inch of the room, bodies of students broken and bent and stained red. Danny’s eyes dart around desperately, but there’s not a living soul in there. With a start, she recognises a girl from one of Lit classes she was the TA for, and her hands shake. Behind her, she hears retching and turns to see Kirsch throwing up in the corridor.

‘What could have done this?’ Mel asks, her voice trembling.

‘Or who,’ Theo adds, who has paled significantly. ‘We should go. The killer could still be here and I’m not feeling too good about our chances.’

‘We can’t just let whatever did this get away with it,’ Danny finally manages to croak.

‘We’re not going to,’ Theo replies, looking determined. ‘We’ll patrol the surrounding area and come back in the morning when it’s easier to investigate.’

The others agree, struggling to handle the bloody, rotting smell of the room, and turn to go, Danny making sure to shut the door behind her.

There were at least two dozen bodies in there, she thinks. Two dozen students. Kids that she probably passed on campus countless times over the past three years. Kids she might have had classes with, eaten with, hung out with. Kids, all of them. Kids they were supposed to protect.

They failed.

 

 

 

They patrol the campus for hours, to no avail. Once dawn breaks and the sun starts to edge slowly back into the sky, they ready themselves and head back to the newspaper offices.

They don’t even make it past the corridor, however, before Mel stops them, and points out a series of bloody footprints heading back out of the building.

‘These weren’t here last night, right?’ she says nervously.

‘I don’t know,’ Theo responds hesitantly. ‘I don’t remember them, but it was so dark.’

Danny doesn’t contribute, but continues onwards, forcing the door open to be met with the same sight from hours earlier. Only this time, there’s a space on the floor between a couple of bodies where blood seems to have been wiped, or at least disturbed.

‘That definitely wasn’t here.’

‘Guys, there’s, like, a trail of blood leading across the quad if you look closely,’ Kirsch calls from outside. ‘Maybe we should follow it?’

‘Anyone got a better plan?’ Theo asks, and ordinarily Danny would want to give him a piece of her mind about the wholly authoritative tone of voice he’s using, but unfortunately, none of them do have a better plan.

Just as Kirsch had said, when they all pile out of the building, a series of bloodstains trail along the ground and out of the quad. Some almost look like footprints, whereas others look like the blood had dripped there from a height. They follow them for ten minutes or so, before coming to a stop outside an older, grand looking building.

‘What is this place?’ Kirsch asks, scratching his head.

‘I think it’s a dorm for grad students, or professors or something. Important type. No one was ever allowed in here,’ supplies Mel.

‘Well,' Danny says, noting the footprints heading inside. ‘I guess there’s a first time for everything.’

The door, they find, is luckily unlocked, and they come face to face with a staircase of exquisite taste, the railing looking like it’s made of gold. They trade looks of cautiousness before carefully steeping foot on the stairs and, after nothing nightmarish happens, make their way to the next floor.

The blood leads down a corridor, the walls decked with old paintings in fancy frames. Danny glances at a portrait of a woman with dark hair, and can’t help but feel she looks familiar. She doesn’t dedicate more than a second to this thought, however, because the next thing she knows they’ve come to a stop outside the door to a dorm, a bloodstain starting on their side, and continuing under the door, into the room.

‘Looks like this is it,’ Theo whispers, glancing at the others, who clench their jaws and ready themselves in preparation.

Theo nods to Kirsch, who takes a step back, before bracing himself and charging into the door, shoulder first.

Unfortunately, they had assumed the door was going to be locked, so when the opposite turns out to be true, Kirsch ends up barrelling through doorway and landing in a heap on an expensive looking rug inside.

‘Okay, ow,’ he groans.

‘What the-, Kirsch?! Oh my God!’

With these words, Danny feels as if she’s been doused in ice water, frozen in place, time coming to a standstill around her. This can’t be happening, she thinks. Not now.

But something terrible has happened, and she needs to suck it up and keep doing her job. There’s no time for feelings to get in the way; she’s stronger than that.

So, she straightens her back, takes a deep breath, and steps into the room, going straight to help Kirsch up before looking around. Once she’s done this, she has no choice but to look up and acknowledge Laura.

Danny doesn’t know if she was expecting her to look different. Maybe because she feel so different herself, but Laura looks the same. Young and beautiful and inquisitive.

‘Danny?’ she says, sounding surprised.

Her name falling from Laura’s lips causes an ache in her that is familiar, but there’s something about it that feels- different. Before, it was a mixture of heartbreak and regret. Now, that’s still there, but there’s something else. She realises, with a pang, that she thinks it might be anger.

‘Laura,’ she responds curtly.

‘What are you doing here?’ Laura asks, directing her question solely to Danny, apparently not interested in the presence of the others.

Theo, instead, decides to explain, and for once Danny can’t find it in herself to be annoyed at the Zetas sense of entitlement.

‘The Student Newspaper staff has been murdered, and we followed a trail of blood that took us right here. Would you care to explain that to us,’ he demands, crossing his arms.

‘I-‘, Laura stammers, clearly struggling to take everything in.

‘It was the neurotic ginger twin,’ a bored drawl calls, and Carmilla comes slinking out of the shadows. ‘She found them like that, fell, freaked out and came rushing back here looking like a vampire’s wet dream.’

Even Kirsch frowns at the insensitivity of Carmilla’s statement. Danny should be used to it by now, but it still fuels a quiet rage in her, bubbling under her chest.

‘So, there’s nothing to see here,’ Carmilla continues, coming to wrap a possessive arm around Laura’s waist, who at least has the decency to look mildly uncomfortable. ‘Feel free to head on back to your childish squabbles.’

‘Excuse me?’ Mel asks in a pissed off manner, and Danny can tell this isn’t going to end well.

‘What Carmilla is trying to say,’ Laura begins in a warning tone, ‘is that we thought you guys were fighting again. How come you’re both here? …together?’

‘Because,’ Kirsch says, stepping forward, surprising everyone, ‘you may not have noticed, but Silas has kind of gone to shit. There are weird-ass fish gods and undead demons and angry birds and, sure, we might not be the best of bros,’ he motions between himself and Danny, ‘but we understand that this place and everyone left needs protecting. Unlike some people.’

The last bit is directed pointedly at Laura, and Danny feels a swell of unexpected emotion when she realises that Kirsch is sticking up for her; that despite their differences, he’s looking out for her, in his own way. It also occurs to her that he had considered Laura his friend, and she’d left him behind too. She’d been so busy focusing on her own pain, she hadn’t stopped to think about the others left at Silas who cared for Laura too.

Laura looks like she’s just taken a slap to the face, and Carmilla is rolling her eyes, though her grip on Laura’s waist has tightened a little. An uncomfortable silence falls in the room, until Theo decides he’s had enough and steps into action.

‘We’ll need to talk to your friend and get a detailed account of everything that happened. Where can we find her?’

‘She’s in the room at the end of the corridor, but she’s still pretty shaken up so-, please be gentle.’ Laura looks down at her feet, cheeks red.

‘Alright guys, looks like this mystery isn’t going to solve itself anytime soon, let’s go,’ Mel says, already heading out the door and round the corner to the other end of the corridor. Theo follows and Kirsch falls into step behind him, shooting Danny a small smile as he passes. Danny nods in return and leaves after him, refusing to allow herself to look at Laura again.

She’s almost made it to the end of the corridor when Laura calls after her, rushing to a stand behind her. Kirsch pauses, sending Danny a questioning glance, who shrugs in response, and he continues on in search of Perry.

‘Danny, please.’

‘What do you want, Laura? Do you have any more information that can help?’

‘No, no, I just-. How are you?’

‘How am I?’

‘Yeah. I haven’t seen you in weeks and I just want to know you’re okay.’

‘I’m great,’ Danny deadpans. ‘I mean, other than missing Christmas, lying to my mother, dislocating my shoulder, getting slashed up by an ancient demon, almost being swallowed up by a pit at least ten times, finding the bodies of dozens of students. Other than that, I’m great.’

‘Danny,’ Laura’s eyes are glassy and Danny can’t bring herself to feel guilty. ‘Danny, I’m sorry-.’

‘I don’t want to hear it, Laura. And I’m not saying this to be a dick. I’m not filling the role of a jaded lover, or any of that bullshit. All I ever wanted to do was keep you safe, and you told me you didn’t need that, so I backed off. But then when the worst actually comes and the whole campus is in danger, you leave. It’s not just that you left me, someone you said you cared about, but when you walked out of those gates, you left every single person here to their fates. You had every right to keep yourself, and I’m glad that you were, but when it comes down to it – was it really worth it?’

Danny’s words come rushing out of her, and everything she’s been keeping locked up for months is released a few short breaths. Laura does nothing to stop her tears.

‘These will heal,’ Danny says, lifting the bottom of her shirt to reveal the three ragged scars decorating her ribs. ‘My heart will heal. I just don’t know when I’ll be able to forgive you.’

Laura sniffs, chokes down a sob, and covers her mouth with a hand.

‘‘ _It is easier to forgive an enemy than it is a friend_.’’

‘Blake,’ Laura whispers, voice broken and lip trembling.

‘I guess you learned something in those classes after all,’ Danny says softly, a sad smile appearing briefly, before her face sets and her eyes turn cold again. ‘Stay inside after dark. You’ll hear from us if we learn anything new.’

And with that, she’s turning on her heel, away from Laura, away from everything she knew, and leaves to find the others, to fulfil her duty to Silas.

(If she tries really hard, she’s almost able to convince herself that her heart isn’t breaking all over again.

Almost.)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me about danny lawrence at just-impolite over on tumblr


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